Weekend Warrior..

Friday after work I planned to play but didn't... I didn't have a costume and planned to go out as much as possible during halloween so I stopped by the mall (Fox Hills) to pick some stuff up. I hate going to the mall because I always want to buy everything. I ended up buying a Sean John shirt, an Enyce "get your grown man on" shirt, the classic tims and the Jordan retros that came out. I'm a fan of these Jordan's I got though:

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After the mall, I had to rush to get to my boy P-Wee's (93.5 KDAY) birthday party at "Oasis". It was fun but the best part of the night was that my homie Bird rolled with us and I haven't seen him in a while. After that we went to some house party in Burbank that was waaaack. Too many youngsters and it was just weak. The worst part was my brand new Tims were killed by spilled drinks, heels and dirt.

Saturday I had a practice baseball game. We won easily against some team but the drive was all the way to Laguna Nigel, damn near San Diego. I was actually 0-3 with a HBP, but I hit the ball well. First at-bat I grounded out to third, second at-bat I was hit, third at-bat I hit a line drive to the wall and their outfield made a jumping catch, fourth at-bat the same guy came in a made a diving catch on a sinking liner to shallow center. I need to hit the cage before our big game at Dodger Stadium on Sunday.

I stopped at a costume store on the way home and picked up some lady bug wings, basically I have the bug stunna shades and wanted to be a bug for halloween. The problem is they don't sell dragon fly wings, so I just went with the lady bug.

We went out to a costume party with my friends Pete (pirate) and his girl Fay, along with Brian (clown) and Tomo (shades and hat) in Burbank. Party was cool, free drinks and I was gone out my mind pretty much off of drink and fire. It was fun though, I even showed up on the dance floor.

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Sunday I played my day four loss and went out to dinner with my godparents, which was really nice because I hadn't seen them in a few weeks and we normally go out to dinner about once a week. It was nice to talk to them and catch up. I meant to go out Sunday night but fell asleep as soon as I got home. So much laundry to do it isn't even funny.

Day 4: Two losses in a row

Don't have too much time to write...want to get this one on the records.

Went to HP yesterday, decided beforehand I was going to play the $100 as I went with only two buy-ins.

Started off slow and lost my first buy-in of $100.

After I rebought, I won a race and doubled up. In the next two hands after that I won an additional $200, which put me up about $200 and some change. This felt really good due to the fact that I went down $100.

However, that was the peak of the night and I really loosened up (to my dismay) and ended the day losing $350.

Yeah I know, that means I really lost $550 after being up $200.

Next time I go back I'm planning on playing the 6/12 limit with $200 and seeing where it takes me.

Day was really shitty and I didn't have time to get anything back because I went out to dinner with some family.

Yesterday
100 NL: -350

To date:
40NL: -100
100NL: -320
200NL: +1932
Overall: +1512

Day 3: Step Back

Yesterday, Thursday October 26th, I really didn't plan on going and playing. Wednesday night I stayed up all night playing and went straight to work. Work was a struggle but to be honest I pulled a lot of all-nighters in college and now I can manage them. I did take a 10 minute nap in my car after lunch.

Towards the end of the day a friend of mine at work (Viet) asked me if I wanted to go to Hustler Casino with him. I told him if he's willing to go to Hollywood Park, I would join him. So we agreed and headed to HP after work.

I got there about ten minutes before Viet and put my name on the 100 NL and 200 NL lists, as HP was packed today because of a 100k guaranteed tournament going on upstairs. I was immediately seated at a 100 NL table and my first hand was dealt 44 in middle position. I called the $3 blind, as did six players. The flop came Q94, beautiful. One player bet $15, I called, hoping that the diamond flush wouldn't hit (slow playing and hoping the flush doesn't come.. possibly a bad move) and on more player called. The turn was the dreaded 3 of diamonds, bringing the flush. The early position caller came out and bet $25. I actually put him on a flush but with the pot at $$60, I felt the $25 bet was weak and if he doesn't have the flush, I have the best hand. If he does, I still have a draw to the full boat. So I called. The river was a wonderful 3, giving me fours full of threes. He actually checked the river and I went all-in for my remaining 57. He only had about 60 left also and he made the call, showing Kd2d. First hand and I more than doubled up.

Almost as soon as that hand was over I was called for the 200 table, so I moved right away and now was essentially paying 100 (for the day) to play the 200. I caught a flush draw on my first hand and lost about 60 chasing it with three people in the pot. Within about 10 hands my stack dwindled to about 60. I had 7-8 in middle position and called a $15 raise after two people called before me. The button also called, as did the small blind. The flop came 7-8-K and I went all-in. I got one caller and more than doubled up to about 160 or so. The very next hand I received KK. At this point I'm certain that to the table I seem to be a very loose, wreckless player. I raised to 15 and two people called. The big blind, who is a fairly tight-aggressive player, re-raised to 45. At this point I was thinking "Perfect" and I went all in. Everyone folded and he insta-called and furiously flipped over AA. I didn't catch and lost the hand.

The night started to go uphill from there and I ran my stack to 1000 (with a buy-in of 400) but I really think my fatigue set in and my stack started getting chopped down. One hand that really hurt was I had K-10 and the board was 7-8-9-J and I bet 30. A player who I tagged as very tight went all-in. I thought for a while and folded, putting him on Q-10. He said "good fold" and showed 7-7. He didn't even see the straight on the board and I could have doubled here to about 800. Pretty sorry lay down by me.

Three hands later I caught AA and raised to 20, four callers. Flop comes J-9-2. I bet 40 and a guy goes all-in for 150. I call and someone else calls. I ended up with the third best hand as the raiser had 22 and the caller made a gutshot with K-10. Overall I think I started off playing really well but fell apart as the night went on. I was at the casino from 7 to midnight and had a few buddies there.. Viet (lost 50 at 2/4 L), Matt (lost xxx? at 4/8 L) and Pete (won 450 at 200 NL). Some chick that I have seen before gave me her number so that was funny. She's a poker-obsessed first-grade teacher, probably about my age and I would say she's about a 7.

Another thing about this night was that the whole time I was playing my (ex) girlfriend was texting me because she found some picture of me online at a party and I had my arm around a girl. The girl was my best friend's girl friend's best friend and my ex claimed it was a date, which was wrong. So she was saying that the picture was taken while we were together and that I was on a date, which was extremely fictional and kind of aggravating while I was playing.

So after today, my numbers are as follows:

Last night
100 NL: +130
200 NL: -530
Overall: -400

To date:
40NL: -100
100NL: +30
200NL: +1932
Overall: +1862

Day 2: Career Day (so far)

"Drop the top and let the sunshine in..." -- Cee Lo



Day two was actually Wednesday, October 25. I’m a day late on posting this. So anyways, I got off work and contemplated going straight to Hollywood Park, but my boy Matt called me and said he wanted to grab some food because he was near my crib. So I went to meet up with him and thought I’d stop at home and throw some laundry in. Then he decided he wasn’t hungry and the laundry room was full at my apartments so the trip home was pointless. I ended up staying home for a couple hours and hanging out with Sennai, checking myspace, watching poker, etc.

Then at about 9 pm I went to Hollywood Park (or “HP”). I showed up and put my name on the list for the 200 NL game, I really didn’t want to get involved in the 100, but at the same time I only had $480 in cash on me. I was seated in a few minutes and sat down at a decent table. With my first buy-in, I worked it up to $500 when our table broke about two hours later. I was not too happy with the table breaking because I had become pretty comfortable at this table and felt I knew the style of players pretty well. So I was moved to a new 200 NL table and as soon as I sat down I could tell it was going to be interesting. The button raised to 25 and got three callers. He bet out the whole time and at the showdown of the hand, the loser showed Q-5 suited for a one-card straight with the 5. Ugly. When I was on the button I raised with 9-9 to $20 and got five callers. Flop came with an A and K and I lost. Anyways, this table played extremely crazy. Seat 9, who I’ll call “Ipod,” was one of the loosest players I’ve ever played with. It was impossible to put him on a hand and he had about 1200 in front of him. He won two monster pots while I was at the table and some old lady was battling with him. They both had the large stacks and completely controlled the table as the two loosest players that were hitting most of their hands. The table broke only about 30 minutes after I got there and I lost $150 at the table with hands that dominated pre-flop (AQ vs. A-7, 99 vs. 10-7, etc.) but were beat after the flop.

I was happy for the table change and I moved to a new table, but “I-Pod” moved to the same table and sat on my left. He was a pretty cool guy and seemed to have a lot of fun. His table personality really reminded me of Daniel Negreanu, playing pretty loose and joking with everyone, while at the same time pissing them off when he cracked them with 4-7 suited, etc. I hit a huge hand when I went all-in with As3s on a board of AJ69 with two spades and a $100 pot already established. I was hoping to take the pot down there, but one player thought for a while and made the call. The river was a rag that wasn’t a spade and I thought I was probably beat by a higher ace or two pair. When I said “I have the ace,” the player said “ace is good,” and showed KsJs, so I was drawing to a higher flush. Through the first two hours I played, the player to my right was calling every pre-flop raise I made (as was “Ipod,” but that he was calling everyone). Myself and the player to my right were about equal stacked at appx. 600 each. When I was in the small blind, he raised on the button to 20. I had Qs9s and I knew that “Ipod” would call, so I told him “since you give me action on all my raises, I’ll give you action.” And he replied “That’s how you lose your money, trying to get it back.” So the three of us saw the flop, which was Q93. Money. The only thing I could possibly worry about here is if “Ipod” has 33. “Ipod” checked and button bet 30. I thought about raising but figured I might be able to milk him. So I called. “Ipod” thought about calling and folded. Turn was a 2 and button says “Well, if I’m gonna go broke I might as well do it on this hand,” which told me that he really wanted a call. I thought if anything, he hit a set of deuces on the turn. But I didn’t think he was that strong so pushed him all in and he reluctantly called with AQ. The river was a 10 and I cracked him for about 600. I won a few more huge pots with the nut flush, king high flush and took down a lot of 100 pots. End result: I cashed out for 2862 and was in for 400.

Great day for me. I stayed up ALL night long and went straight to work from HP. I stopped on the way to buy a shirt and socks to change into. Grimey, but I’m a grimey dude. The overnighter was worth it and I feel really good about the way I played. I stole mid-size pots when I felt it and I trapped people at the right times. Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come. I definitely favor the 200 NL game over the 100 NL game.

Today: 2462
Overall: 2262

Day 1: Terrible

Showed up with $200, signed up for the $100 NL tables, which had a list of about 8 people. They were starting a $40 NL table, which is the worst game ever but since it was a new table I figured I would sit until my $100 seat came up. Big mistake.

I lost about $4 playing Ad3d on the button. So at this point I'm at $33 ($1 sb, $2bb, $4 call). I'm on the button and everyone (eight players) calls the $2 bb. I have QQ. I go all-in for $33, hoping to get one caller. Big blind calls IMMEDIATELY, which gives me a bad feeling he has KK. Then the cut-off, an old man that has been sleeping and is still wearing his hospital ID tag, calls as well. The flop comes QK4 with two clubs. I look at the BB and say "unless you have KK, I'm good," he says "You have KK??" which lets me know I'm good. He goes all in for $13 more and the cut-off calls him. The turn is a third club and river is 9 of diamond. BB turns over AA and cut-off turns over 9c8c for the flush winner.

Then I got to the $100 table and lose with Kc10c two pair on the flop...AQ calls the gut shot and hits the jack. Peace out.

Today: -200
Overall: -200

Also just had a shitty night overall. That trip was so quick, it was unbelievable. Went to the beach and walked around... went home with the ambition to clean up and didn't do anything but watch TV (The Wire, SportsCenter, WSOP on ESPN).

Another one lost

"They're gettin money with Bin Laden, so they went back to attackin' Saddam, Iraq's another 'Nam" - Talib Kweli

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Masked men grabbed a U.S. soldier, handcuffed him and forced him into a vehicle, the U.S. military said Tuesday, offering a relative's account of how the Iraqi-American translator went missing in Iraq. (10.24.06)

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Editor’s note: Kevin Tillman joined the Army with his brother Pat in 2002, and they served together in Iraq and Afghanistan. Pat was killed in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. Kevin, who was discharged in 2005, has written a powerful, must-read document.

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them.

Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

Somehow torture is tolerated.

Somehow lying is tolerated.

Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,

Kevin Tillman

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I can't stand the fact that we are still losing friends, brothers, sons, daughters, and fathers in Iraq. I understand that our administration did what the felt they had to do for the fact that they thought our country was in danger, but enough is enough. Thousands of Americans have died for this bogus war and I'm sure that ten times as many Iraqis have died. The story goes that we remain in Iraq to install democracy and a government, but the fact remains that every day we lost soldiers and we kill civilians. It gives me a headache just to think about it. I had a family reunion about a month ago and my young cousin that I didn't even know had just come back from Iraq. They called him up in front of the whole family because it was his birthday and he didn't even crack a smile. The worst part of it was his mother kept saying how thankful she was to have him back, and my family didn't even flinch at it.

Day 1

"They tell me I'm gainin weight, I tell 'em I'm gettin paid..." - Lil' Wayne

Nothin to somethin. That's the goal here. I have no idea who I will end up showing this blog too, but the idea is to share my vision and my experience with those who care enough to read. Hopefully it will be a good read and at the same time if at all possible I hope that some can learn from my experiences, problems and accomplishments.

Background: From urban Seattle... grew up doing nothing but playing sports in the South End and Central District of Seattle. Played on travelling baseball and basketball teams and always aspired to be a professional ball player. Attended Franklin High School in South Seattle where I played basketball and baseball and as a senior gained a small bit of recognition from colleges for both sports, but quit basketball to pursue baseball full-time.

The University of Southern California sent me a recruiting letter of interest for baseball when I was a senior and, eager to get out of Seattle, I applied to go to USC for academics, hoping that I could walk on to the baseball team. Unfortunately for me the Trojans won the national championship that same year and had more than enough of their recruits sign to play at SC. About a month after I got to USC I found out that baseball wasn't happening.

Aside from sports, my other interest was journalism and luckily USC has one of the top journalism programs on the west coast. That combined with the fact that I was surrounded by sunny weather and beautiful girls was a good enough mix to keep me at SC.

About midway into my freshman year I start kickin it with a friend named Juice who was relentless in convincing me to start rapping (I wrote rhymes but never tried to record them). So I got on my hip hop grind, falling in love with the art of emceeing and writing and I haven't stopped since. Some of my music can be found on myspace. As far as my music has gone...I've been featured on a few mixtapes, a documentary pilot filmed for HBO (never aired) and I've done a few shows here and there (there including Japan).

Anyways after college I started working for L.A. Times at the high school sports desk, which paid $10 an hour for about 20 hours a week. If you've ever been to or lived in L.A., the cost of living does not allow for someone to survive on a $300 paycheck. So that didn't last long and ever since then I've been working for miscellaneous jobs trying to climb the pay scale with very, very little succes.

In the mean time my debt has accumulated. I've also jumped on the poker bandwagon and watch it all the time on TV, even bought a coupld books about the "sport." So, due to the facts that I hate working 9-6 (I'm late to work about 95% of the time) and I need extra money (my paycheck is pocket change), I will be playing some Texas Hold 'Em in pursuit of the American dream.

So here we go. Rap, life, sports, work, and cards.

Welcome to my world.